When I was a kid I would put a lot of work into my Valentine’s Day gift to my Mom. Why? In a lot of ways as a kid, she was the center of my universe!
I always loved V-day. Wearing pink and red, getting candy and valentines at school from my friends and flowers and jewelry from my Dad. Dad would often get my Mom a necklace or earrings and he’d get me a tiny little girl version to match. My sister and I were (and still are) his little loves. To me, Valentine’s Day was about LOVE. Period.
It wasn’t until I got older that I started to realize that for most people V-Day is dedicated to lovers; romantic love (or the lack of it). For this reason, Valentine’s Day can be a big fat ugly reminder that you are ALONE. With NO ONE to LOVE. I mean look at all the damn articles floating around:
How to Survive Valentine’s Day Single
Single Awareness Day offers Valentine’s Day Alternatives
Should Valentine’s Day be Banned in Schools?
How to Spend Valentine’s Day Alone
First of all, it’s just a DAY people, relax. YOU WILL SURVIVE IT.
Secondly, you’re not and have never been alone. You have a lot of love in your life! Don’t let this day and the way it is marketed fool you into feeling that because you don’t have romantic love at the moment, you are unloved. FALSE. So false!
Ok, granted, I have a boyfriend. But being single has NEVER kept me from enjoying the holiday! Have a dinner party with your single friends! Go see 50 Shades of Grey. Head to the spa. Go shopping. Whatever. Just don’t fall into the trap of making this day represent something that is negative or lacking in your life.
Last night a couple friends came over and we made homemade valentines. You know what I discovered? There are a lot of people I love other than my boyfriend. Who says you can only have one Valentine and that it should just be your bf/gf? Everyone likes to hear a quick reminder that they are loved!
Which brings me to pet peeve #2: Anyone who utters some variation of this line:
“We don’t celebrate Valentine’s day because he treats me like every day is Valentine’s Day.”
BARF. If that’s really true, wonderful. But while you’re at it, just don’t celebrate Mother’s Day or Halloween or any other holiday, because what’s the point, really?
My boyfriend treats me like a princess, but we STILL CELEBRATE Valentine’s day and you know why? Because like many couples, our typical night together is spent watching bad reality TV or sitting on our laptops talking about the newest cat video. And while I love our life, I would say that our average night together does not rate high on the sexy meter. Plus, we are both very social beings who love to work and are constantly on our phones texting and talking. We live together and that means we are part lovers, part roommates. Every day is not a scene out of The Notebook. #RealTalk. It’s nice to have a day to devote to making each other feel loved and happy. What’s wrong with that? Don’t want to spend money and contribute to our “consumer driven” culture? GREAT! Stay home and cook or go to the beach. It’s not about money, it’s about showing gratitude.
If you have a problem with V-day, my guess is it’s because you have been disappointed by it in the past. I get it. The truth is, I’ve never been disappointed by V-day and it’s probably because I’ve never put all my V-day hopes and dreams on a boyfriend. My parents still send me gifts and I still make heart cookies because the truth is, it’s not about any one person. It’s about love. Spreading it and receiving it. Even when you have that special someone, they cannot fulfill every hope and desire for you. That’s why we have friends and family and work and hobbies… There are a lot of components to happiness!
So please, this year:
Embrace Valentine’s Day. Write your Mom a love letter. Or your Grandma. Or your best friend. Smile more. Buy a box of chocolates and eat them your damn self. Or get them for that co-worker that always has your back. Look around and you’ll see, you’ve got potential Valentines everywhere.